Dear Seattle Porn Public Libraries:
So, you have to let people watch porn on the library computers. Believe it or not, I understand the Constitutional law principles that require you to do so, and I also understand the slippery-slope on which censorship perches so precariously. I believe in those Constitutional protections, and I believe censorship is very, very dangerous.
Despite having studied the applicable Constitutions at length, however, I can find nothing in them that protects a person’s right to watch porn on a library computer in the middle of the god damn library where others, including children, will see it. Or to masturbate in the library, which is the reason that men sit down in front of a computer to watch porn (I’ve heard). I know, shock and awe, shock and awe. Trust me on this: They are not watching porn to critique the production values, direction, or mise en scene. They do it with one hand on the mouse and one hand on the mouse’s arch-enemy, the snake.
Have you seen the musical Avenue Q? Watch this video, and it will explain EVERYTHING.
What is my point?
MOVE THE FUCKING PERVERTS WHO LIKE TO WATCH PORN IN PUBLIC TO A MORE SECLUDED PLACE IN THE LIBRARY WHERE THE SCREEN IS NOT VISIBLE TO CHILDREN AND OTHER LIBRARY PATRONS!!!
I’m fucking serious. While the Constitution and the laws may prevent you from censoring Internet content, it does not protect people’s “right” to watch porn in a particular place within the library. And it certainly doesn’t protect their right to jerk off in the library. Anywhere. So, when someone some man is watching porn in the open, require him to move to some corner of the library where the computer cannot be readily seen. And if he dares rub himself even a little, throw his ass out onto the street, call the cops, get a restraining order. I mean, if you can’t police the use made of library computers, then who gives a shit where you put them?
Otherwise, love you to death!
HorseKnuckle, the apparent genius
UPDATE! I received a comment on this mess of a post, which raised some obvious issues with my analysis. So, I’m modifying my Open Letter with this BEEEEE-UUUUUUU- tiful HorseKnuckle original in Library Design. Put the perverts within eye-shot but in places where their backs are against the wall. Or how about this: When you see a pervert doing something perverted in a public space, particularly a public library, call them out. Do not make it the librarians’ job–their hands are tied by the law. Do it yourself. If you were being mugged or assaulted on the street, you would scream and yell and call for help, wouldn’t you? Yes, you fucking would. Well, a pervert who is watching porn in plain view in a public space is mugging and assaulting you, so scream and yell until they move on. They do not want the attention, and others in the library will likely join you. I certainly will.
And now, a HorseKnuckle original showing just how freaking AMAZING I am:
I see both sides of this. On the one hand, the ALA is useless on this issue. Librarians don’t even have support from their own professional organization saying, “You know what? Librarians deserve a workplace free of exposure to explicit sexual material because that would be consistent with the values of other public workspaces – bus drivers, for example.”
Nope. The ALA is all about the freedom and equality of information (stuff) and cannot stand up for librarians (the people it represents) and empower them as professionals to say, “Here is a list of the standards of conduct in our workplace and the public space we serve. As professionals, we can be trusted to enforce these standards fairly and consistently.”
On the other hand, as I read in a Guardian story about the UK library closings late in 2010, there was a great quote from an elderly library patron. I paraphrase: “The public library is one of the few places people of all ages are welcome, and children can learn how to act in public with different people in the community around them to help them learn.” We ARE the public. If I saw someone watching porn in a library and it disturbed me, I wouldn’t even bother with the librarian. I’d ask the patron directly, assuming I didn’t sense any danger. That’s what we do as members of a community – if we believe in a set of values, we act on violations of those values. I’m not saying the mother in the now-infamous incident didn’t do that; it seems she did. But thinking a librarian will be on your side is not worth your time, sadly.
Also: isolating those devices where kids can’t see them? A recipe for trouble and I believe librarians would agree, since it increases the need for policing those areas (shudder).
It sucks that librarians have to be put in the position of dealing with this non-sense at all. And I agree: People who see this bullshit going on in a public space should intervene unapologetically and make a public spectacle of whoever is acting so beyond the bounds of reason and decency. I call on the public to come to its own aid, not to mention the aid of innocents who may be within eye-shot of the offending patron.
Finally, it did dawn on me that isolating the devices might encourage even worse behavior. I guess I was thinking of a bank of computers arranged so that patrons who use them would have their backs to the wall. You know what, Jordan? I am going to update this with a post that contains a HorseKnuckle original drawing of my idea for library design that will accommodate perverts. I don’t do this for just anyone, by the way. Please hold!
Ha! This clarifies what you meant by “secluded” – so thank you! I’m glad you posted this; I think we need more discussion about this issue, because it underlines the importance of libraries as a public space. These “porn in the library” incidents are relatively low-frequency, but their impact is high – user comments on news sites reporting this event were evidence of the damage to the public value perception of libraries.
I’d also like to add, the private area you’ve designed above would address other issues of privacy related to the use of public computing resources. Library patrons use computers to apply for jobs, file their taxes electronically, and search for sensitive health-related information. An area offering privacy would better facilitate these tasks, increasing the value of public computing at the library.
Finally, I should clarify from my earlier comment that I DO believe the ALA supports librarians in some important ways. However, times are changing, as are libraries, and I just want to see library professionals have the best tools and most responsive policies at their disposal.