Long story short:  HRC and several other big name organizations formed a coalition, United for Marriage, for the purpose of getting out the word to the masses about marriage equality and the pending oral arguments on both California Prop 8 and DOMA before the US Supreme Court last week.  Using the enormous capital, respect, and connections that these groups have developed over 30+ years of lobbying and activism in Washington, D.C., they were granted the rare ability to set up a speakers’ dais IN FRONT OF THE GOD DAMN US SUPREME COURT on the days of oral arguments.  And then they set some rules about what the stage would look like, which flags would fly, who could speak, and, apparently, what they could say.

I mean, can you imagine the free-for-all it would have been had every flag under the sun been waving and everyone with the balls to stand up could say whatever they wanted to say?

So, when the trans* community tried to erect a flag immediately behind the speakers’ podium, United for Marriage said, “We’re thrilled you’re here, but the only flags we are going to erect are U.S. flags, to show that marriage is an American issue, not a LGBT* issue.” Can you imagine the consequences if United for Marriage had allowed the trans* flag but no one else’s? Or only some LGBT organizations but not all? Or hadn’t given enough advance notice for every organization under the sun to erect their own flag?  The entirety of the US SupCo building would have been obscured by so many flags that no one would have bothered to actually give a shit about who was and was not represented or what they were trying to say.

And when the Queer United Immigrant Project (QUIP) people were invited by United for Marriage to speak, restrictions were imposed.  QUIP is PISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSED!  They were asked, allegedly by HRC, to limit their comments to marriage equality, because that was the god damn point of the rally in the first fucking place.  Immigration reform is a huge issue, and one that I have my finger on as an LGBT activist. And there are elements of immigration reform that clearly implicate this country’s ongoing refusal to treat gay and lesbian couples as equals.  The comments from QUIP, however, were not limited to immigration policy as it relates to marriage.  They went beyond the scope and purpose of the United for Marriage rally and would have been a distraction from the actual issues that the US Supreme Court–you know, the highest court in the entire country–has agreed to consider.

There is a time and place for everything.  To blame United for Marriage and HRC for wanting people to stay on topic–a topic that again, I will remind you, was selected to be considered by the 9 Justices of the god damn Supreme Court–doesn’t seem all that onerous of an ask to me.  The Justices weren’t considering LGBT immigration issues, except as they might relate to MARRIAGE for godssakes. WAKE UP AND PAY ATTENTION!

HRC has issued an apology.  For what, I’m not sure. I wish they hadn’t.  Why? Because, without being too much of a bitch, I would like to ask the following rhetorical question and then give you the answers to the question:

Dear Trans* Organizations and QUIP and everyone else who bitches about HRC’s rules and conventions for moving the LGBT community closer and closer to full equality and inclusion:

Question:  If you do not like the rules that United for Marriage (including HRC) set for this event, then why don’t you organize your own speakers’ podium and rally in front of the US Supreme Court so that you can wave as many flags and say whatever you want?


  • HRC and the coalition partners have 30+ years of relationships and respect and trust and political capital, so when they ask to set up a speakers’ dais in front of the US Supreme Court, they are permitted to do it.  We don’t have the same political capital that comes with 30 YEARS OF RELATIONSHIP BUILDING, so we have to rely on other organizations’ resources. 
  • We do not have the media attention that HRC and its coalition partners have after 30 YEARS OF PUBLIC RELATIONS AND MEDIA COMMUNICATIONS, so media outlets would not have paid us much attention if we had our own podium. [Side Bar:  I mean, if a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it . . . does it make a sound? I don’t know, but if no one is there to hear it, then who the fuck cares if it makes a sound?]
  • Setting up a speakers’ podium, including lighting and sound systems and all of the accoutrements necessary to have a rally with speakers is expensive and costs money and we don’t have enough to do it ourselves. We don’t even know where to go or who to ask to set up a rally and media presser like the one United for Marriage pulled off last week.
  • Having a speakers’ podium implies that you will actually have speakers. HRC and the coalition partners have 30 YEARS OF RELATIONSHIPS with people who can speak eloquently and intelligently on the issue of marriage equality, which, we almost forgot, is the issue before the Supreme Court. We don’t have those types of relationships. It would have simply been us, standing there on the steps of the Supreme Court, probably talking mostly off topic (and, BTW, the topic was marriage equality on March 26/27, nothing else).

Quit whining. Politics is a game, and there are rules to the game. None of us–including the United for Marriage coalition–particularly like the rules because they require us to take baby-steps and to make Sophie’s choices on our march to full equality.  But the rules, whether express or implied (mostly implied) exist, plain and simple. If you don’t want to play by the rules, the niceties, the conventions, the guidelines, then I invite you to strike out on your own and create another model. I would caution you, however, that after nearly 4 decades, not many other models have surfaced that are as successful or respected as the model used by the United for Marriage coalition partners, including HRC.

Most importantly, stop looking the gift horse in the mouth. Do not try to step up onto the stage that United for Marriage partners have set for you (literally and figuratively) and then complain that you have suffered discrimination by them because you don’t like their rules and conventions.

Finally, I want to note a real problem I see with HRC detractors.  Some of you want HRC and the other partners to be all-inclusive, but you want them to be inclusive only on your narrow, often myopic terms. Pragmatism is in short supply, it would appear, but I think it would do some good for certain groups and organizations to quit looking at HRC as the enemy and try to learn from its vast experiences, both wins and losses.  Think of HRC kind of like a mentor.  And you would all do well to assume good, not bad, intent on HRC’s part. Do you honestly believe that the people who work and volunteer tirelessly for HRC don’t have the best interests of all LGBT people in heart and in mind? If you do, then you are projecting your own provincial approach to activism in my humble opinion.


Food Labeling

Let’s assume that the premise of this piece of shit editorial is true: The U.S. has become a nanny state. So much so, that when I go out and pick vegetables from my garden, I am going to have to slap a god damn food label on it so that I know what I am eating (which, by the way, IS NOT FUCKING TRUE).

Well, today, one of my 7 worthless Tea Party Conservative Facebook followers posted a rant about how ObamaCare is going to force a label on every, single thing you can stick in your mouth, including, ostensibly, my pecker. And because I am sick and fucking tired of stupid, ill-informed, ignorant opinion from people who know not of what they speak (is that the Department of Redundancy Department?) and because I am crabby at the world for a variety of COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY REASONABLE REASONS, obviously, I just couldn’t keep myself from responding in a bitchy and “destined to be unfriended” way:


Fat Hogs Unite!

I mean, shut the fuck up. Food labeling has been required for years, not that it matters to gluttonous Americans who wouldn’t know health if it kicked them in the box.

Here’s the deal, fuckwits: The U.S. and America are going to pay one way or another. Either we try to help you make good choices by labeling food appropriately, or we pay the costs of your fat ass having a fucking heart attack and dying and leaving your family without enough money to feed and shelter themselves. Right? One way or another, we pay. Increased insurance premiums, welfare, death benefits … someone has to pay. So instead of letting people haphazardly foist their bad health on the rest of us, why don’t we help them make good choices? Oh, wait. That’s too progressive of an attitude. We should simply let people fend for themselves, in a world where corporations are willing to feed you literally anything that you’ll be stupid and ill-informed enough to stuff in your cake hole.

Congratulations on your bad health.



More Douches!

I am not fucking done tonight.

Tomorrow is World AIDS Day. It is both a sad day and a day filled with hope for a future without the virus. It is also an opportunity for the truly Holier-Than-Thou set to act like giant assholes. I captured the following tweet today, which even shocked me (and that is really hard to do):

Gays punishment = Death

Gay punishment = Death

Do you want to know what he was talking about? This picture and the accompanying story:

(c) Therese Frare

(c) Therese Frare

The suffering of sin, Matt Barber? A metaphor for God’s love of “gays?” So, because David Kirby was gay, God made him not just suffer, but die? Fuck you and fuck your God. AIDS is not God’s punishment for the “sin” of being “gay.” If that is the case, Matt, then what the fuck did this poor child do to deserve to die from AIDS?

Saddest Picture on Fucking Earth

Saddest Picture on Fucking Earth

And with that, I am fully in tears. How can anyone be so brash, so arrogant to say that human suffering like this is just desserts? How can anyone be so disassociated from their own human-ness to look at these poor souls and not literally collapse under the weight of sorrow and helplessness and empathy? How can anyone believe in a god that would heap such misery on any soul?

I don’t know how these religious zealots become the evil people that they are. I reject them. I reject their religion. I reject their gods. So should you.

In today’s edition of “Shut Your Pie Hole,” I give you Star Parker. You don’t read anything longer than a paragraph, so here are the fine points:

  • She is a strict constructionist, which means that she, like Justice “Crazypants” Scalia, believes the Constitution should be read only in the historical context in which it was written. What I am trying to say is that these nutjobs think that the Constitution can only be applied to modern legal issues as if it is still the late-mother fucking 1700s. 
  • She believes that being gay and wanting full equality is “an impulse of the moment.”
  • She says that marriage and family are the pillars of healthy society through which “time-tested truths and values” (!) are transmitted and that society has lost its way because the electorate is permitted to vote on gay marriage and has voted incorrectly of late.
  • She concludes by calling LGBT people deviants.

In short, she’s a fucking gem. But it gets worse once you truly understand this woman. So, let me boil her down for you:

  • Star Parker isn’t her real name. Her name is actually Larstella Irby.
  • Despite her new name, she doesn’t appear to be a hooker.
  • She is African American.
  • She was arrested for shoplifting and admits to robbing a liquor store and stealing a car to flea her crimes.
  • She spent her early adult years high on PCP and other drugs and lived on welfare. She now opposes welfare.
  • She says she has had four abortions. She now is morally opposed to abortion.
  • She found Jesus.
  • She was a radio show host but was “laid off” when Disney bought the station, which really means that they fired her because she clearly isn’t Disney material, now is she?
  • She has formed some organization called CURE that tells black people that they should focus on personal freedom and personal responsibility as solutions to their problems and that racism only exists in their minds. Clearly, the name of the organization is a misnomer.
  • And OMG, she was born in 1956 in Moses Lake, Washington. For those of you who know Moses Lake, perhaps that explains everything, right?

Now, I want to be perfectly clear. I don’t condemn her for any of the choices she has made except one: The choice to be such an unbelievable, pants-pissing, self-UNaware hypocrite.  I mean, are you fucking kidding me? You, Star Parker, are going to tell me, in 2012, that I am a deviant and that I am the scourge of American culture and society because I want equal rights? You, Star “I was part of the problem” Parker, have the balls to say that I have made a choice to be gay, a choice to deviate from social “standards,” a choice to diverge from true and false, and that I am carrying the handbasket that is going to deliver America into the bowels of hell?

You, lady, have literally no right and no standing to speak to any of us about the downfall of society. You gave up that right when you made choices to commit crimes, do drugs, have abortions, and in general contribute to the “crisis of the collapse of family and marriage” and society of which you complain–choices that you now insist had nothing to do with historical socio-economic disparities or racism. Had you lived a contrite life during which you judged no one for who they are or what they have done, I wouldn’t call you on your bullshit. But no. You have now decided that you are somehow morally superior to others and have given yourself license to determine right and wrong, good and evil, normal and deviant. That makes you a hypocrite. Shut up.


Preserve Marriage Washington, the intolerant homophobes who led the effort to take away equality for gay and lesbian Washington couples, issued a written concession that was as full of shit as anything they have done or said this entire campaign. Seriously. It’s a big, flaming bag of dog crap left on our front porches to remind us that they are never, ever going to STFU. Let’s break it DOWN:

  • While we are disappointed, we are not defeated.” Um, yes you fucking are. When you lose, you are, by definition, defeated.
  • We will continue to educate citizens and policymakers on the timeless truth that real marriage is the union of one man and one woman.” Um, no it’s fucking not. When the people vote to approve marriage equality, then marriage is actually between two consenting adults, regardless of gender.
  • Polling showed that 80% of unchurched voters approved of Ref. 74.” Antitheism is the wave of the future, bitches.
  • We ran a strong campaign that we can be proud of–a campaign based on honesty and integrity.” Sure, if by honest and integrity you mean lies and distortions. What a proud legacy!
  • Our opponents … will try to portray this election as a turning point, but it’s not a turning point to win on your home turf.” Huh? WTF are you talking about? We handed you your first losses. That, bitches, is a turning point. And of course we won on our home turf–Washington voters aren’t allowed to vote on ballot measures in other states. Where the fuck were we going to win if not on our home turf? You make no sense.
  • Washingtonians know … that children need both a mother and a father.” Tell that to Washingtonians who head single-parent households, to the mothers of my children, and to all of the other Washingtonians who know children who are being raised by folks other than both their mother and father. You know what children need? Food, shelter, love and affection, a sense of belonging, esteem. A mother and father, while nice, are not requirements. See Maslow’s Hierarchy.

The people have spoken, and they have rejected your lies, your distortions, your divisiveness, your bullshit. This wave of equality will spread across this country, mark my words. I’ll be right here to make sure it happens.

Yay, gays. Love won.

My head is foggy with exhaustion, and I admit that I am having some difficulty wrapping my head around the last 12 hours since the first election results started rolling in from Washington. I’m frantically flipping through the news channels, obsessively checking the Internets, compulsively scrolling through my text messages and my email, listening to my voice mail with a gaping mouth. But the truth is inescapable:

You. Are. WELCOME!

I have a message for the people, the organizations, the institutions that have historically, continuously, chronically done everything possible to deny my rights:  I know you aren’t done with your evil agenda, and even today, you refuse to learn last night’s lesson.  Neither the fuck am I, and I will continue to school you until you either learn or give up trying. Unlike you, however, I have the wind of change in my sails.

In America, we still have HUGE gaps in LGBT equality that must be closed. In 3/5ths of this country, we can be fired from our jobs. We do not have federal protections for our relationships, our jobs, our health, our safety. Even where laws exist to protect us, they are often not enforced. Cultural and societal stigma is still the norm. Hate-based violence of every magnitude continues to play part of our collective reality. Gay and trans youth continue to take their own lives.

We have a long way to go. But the journey took a new path last night. Our entire narrative changed. I have to re-write my own script–and by that I mean the one I use when I am the real me and not the script I use when mouthing off under my nom de plume, HorseKnuckle. When I do it, I can promise you that it will no longer ask for permission or make apologies or handle homophobes with kid-gloves in order to gain favor. I am done with niceties. I am through with loyal disagreement. I am finished with respectful dialogue with people whose brand of respect includes bigotry, intolerance, condescension, patronization, illogic, superiority, and lies.

I am done, and we have the political capital and popular support to move forward in a new, sweeping way. Congrats to all of us.

So much shit happened today that I couldn’t even figure out what I wanted to blog about tonight. And then, like a freight train full of rendered cattle ramming headlong through the middle of my boudoir, the National Organization for [straight] Marriage posted a huge festering pile of shit on its blog. And the earth opened and the hellfires rose up and tickled me on my perky little ass and I screamed, “yes. Yes. YES! Sweet heat, burn the words from my mind through my fingers and all over my blog, like man-seed on my belly after a fun Friday night.”

Fasten your seatbelts.

Now, we’ve previously established that you sluts do not read anything to which I link. So, while I will provide a link to the festering pile of shit, please know that I have taken it upon myself to don a haz-mat suit to read the entirety of the mess. For you. That is how much I love you. Let’s break it DOWN!

First, the title of the post is “The Miracle Continues.” What miracle, you ask? No, Jesus did not come back to earth. No, Mary did not appear in a bag of fucking Cheetos. No, my fantastic man-tits were not gifts from the Pope. The “miracle” is that, according to NOM, its ads are working. You know the ads: The ones full of lies, mistruths, scare tactics, Canadians (yes, citizens of another country) who have been fired for anti-gay comments in violation of CANADIAN law (and did I mention Canada is a separate, sovereign country where the rules and laws are different/better than in the U.S. on this issue?), business owners who have been denied their GOD FUCKING GIVEN rights to discriminate against homosexuals, and kindergartners who have been taught in public schools across the universe to give blow jobs.



Since the lies began airing roughly the middle of October, the dumbest of dumb voters have decided that the literally unfathomable is in fact true. And I’m not just talking about the existence of God. People actually believe that school children who can’t even fucking read are going to be taught directly from The Joy of Gay Sex in every public school in the U.S.

Second, and you better sit your perky ass in a chair, NOM has come out of the closet as a race baiter (even though we all knew it was thanks to the internal memos that the Human Rights Campaign was able to obtain).  I am just going to snip the relevant portion for you, because I cannot do this shit justice with a summary:

White v Black

White liberals are holding black folk down. No, they are. WHAT?

Do you see that? NOM is openly trying to drive wedges between minority groups, even though at the time the memos were revealed, Brian Brown (NOM’s Grand Poobah) responded, “We proudly bring together people of different races.” I would feel like an asshole for not pointing out that NOM’s leadership (at least those that it is willing to disclose) is made up entirely of entitled white people, mostly men.

Third, something about how traditional marriage voters are going to show up en masse and elect Romney and the polls are tight and how Obama is a gay-loving, marriage hating, liberal and how some gay-haters will still vote for Obama but that’s ok because NOM is extra inclusive and loves everyone. No, I’m not making any of that up, I’m just too fucking annoyed to explain further.

Fourth, one other person whom I have never heard of but apparently speaks Russian and Hebrew (again, not making this up) is speaking out against marriage equality. Dennis Prager. Oh, yeah. And Billy Graham, well-known for BEING AS CLOSE TO DEATH AS ANY PERSON ON THE PLANET. Tick tock, Oldy Moldy and your intolerant ilk. Tick fucking tock.

And finally . . . mercifully . . . the blog post ends with a video featuring that insipid pixie of a woman, Kelly Yanta, who is to journalism what black is to white.  I would embed the video, but the cunts and WordPress want me to pay for additional space or something. Plus, I don’t want you to throw up your last meal without affirmatively clicking on a link and assuming the risk knowingly and voluntarily.

As you can see, the miracle does indeed continue. For example, that these people continue to have a voice in American politics and culture is a fucking miracle. That these people have some how convinced racial minorities that liberals are out to get them is a fucking miracle. That some Americans continue to give these villains their ear and pay even a thread of attention to their ads and their lies is a Christmas fucking miracle.

2012 will be the year that all that changes. Nov. 6, 2012, by my estimation.