Archive for the ‘Occupy [everything]’ Category

I’ve been quiet again for some time about Occupy Seattle, but recent events with the Occu-squatters here in Seattle have had my blood boiling and juices flowing.  Traffic gridlock, squatting on private property, threats to derail Xmas celebrations, lies about miscarrying a baby that didn’t exist, crime and violence within the Occupy group itself, the sullying of the campus of a public institution, and the hogging of public resources like police, parks, and a shit-load of taxpayer money.

And then this morning, our own KOMO News posted this tweet (and related story) on Twitter:


@komonews komonews.com
Some question whether the Occupy Seattle movement is alienating the very people it wants to help – STORY HERE

If by “some” you mean me, then no shit, Sherlock.  And a whole lot of other people.  I mean, don’t get me wrong:  Lots of people support the underlying cause(s) of the movement, but as I have said over and over, the cause has gotten completely lost in 1) the mechanism of delivery and 2) the shenanigans of those trying to deliver it.  I think I speak for most of us when I say, “We’re just fucking over it.  Wrap it up; close it down; move the fuck on.”

The KOMO story, for those of you who won’t read it, is particularly telling.  An insider, Occupy Seattle medic Thomas Canant, is quoted in the story as being concerned because, according to him, “It’s a 24-hour-a-day job just trying to keep the peace.  People have lost the message.  People have lost the concept of why we’re here.”  The article goes on to quote several non-Occupy Seattleites, who nearly all question the point of the Occupiers’ antics, just as I and so many others have been doing for the past 2 months.

Before I spend the ENTIRE morning sitting here preaching to both the choir (the 99%) and the deaf (the Occu-squatters), I’m just going to cut to the chase:


Wrap it UP! NOW!


UPDATEIf you think it’s bad that a gay, left-winger like me thinks that Occupy Seattle (and the Occupy movement in general) has crumpled into a withering, useless ball of used toilet-paper, syringes, and lice-infected bedding, well I got news for youEven the Stranger thinks you jackasses are “fucking blowing it at this point.”


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Occupy My Last Nerve

I HAVE FUCKING HAD IT!  I have been stewing . . . No, I have been boiling like Ellen’s god damn pet rabbit in Fatal Attraction [Recipe here–no, I’m serious.  It’s actually a recipe.] about the god damn Occupy movement and, more specifically, the Seattle incarnation of that shit show mess.  Now, what I am about to say is going to be controversial to some, but as you are quite well aware, I don’t give a fuck.  The truth hurts, but you still have to swallow it like a 10-year old boy in the football showers at Penn State.  (Too soon?)

In the past week, the Occupy Seattle people have been on the front page.  Do you know why?

  • First, a crazy old woman with good intentions but bad timing and a death wish decided to hop off of her bus and launch herself into utter lawlessness (allegedly peaceful, but pregnant with the possibility of violence, right anarchists?) by “occupying” one of the most important intersections–from both a traffic and a transit standpoint–in downtown Seattle during the rush hour.  She was pepper-sprayed, and the now infamous picture (and story) has gone viral.
  • Second, the absolute biggest PUSSY of a mayor, Seattle’s own Mike “I haven’t met a problem that didn’t turn me to milquetoast” McGinn apologized and called for an investigation of the events that led to the pepper-spraying event.  Here’s your investigation Mayor Pussy:  Crazy people, without a permit or approval, occupy an important intersection, creating havoc.  The police try to enforce local and state LAWS (heard of those?), but the Occupy Seattle people (particularly the anarchists) refuse and begin to get aggressive, donning their own riot gear (gas masks, etc.) and acting aggressively when the cops attempt to corral them.  In order to remove the large group of people (100+) who refused to comply with LAWFUL ORDERS, the police used pepper spray to disperse them, because 30 cops trying to subdue and arrest 100 crazies is not really possible or effective.  As a result, an elderly woman and a woman allegedly two months pregnant were sprayed (among others), to which I say, “What the fuck were you doing down there in the first place, you irresponsible pregnant twit?”  By the way, imagine the precedent that would have been created had the police simply stood by and done nothing, as the world apparently expected them to.  We live in a world with 7 billion people who are breeding like god damn viruses, and order is not only preferable, it is a prerogative.
  • Third, later in the week, the Occupy Seattle people occupied the University Bridge at rush hour, causing gridlock in the City.  And do you know who was caught in the crosshairs? Well, let me tell you:  Me, you ass clowns.  Oh, and everyone single working slob in the city but NOT the 1%.  Stated another way, the only people who suffered are the Occupy movement’s base.  Stated another way, you Occupy dickheads are making life miserable for me and the rest of the 99% with absolutely nothing to show for all your efforts.  To the Occupier who stated, “No yachts of the 1% will cross under the University Bridge tonight,” I would just like to say . . . wait.  I don’t want to say anything.   I want to pluck your eyelashes out one by fucking one for being so unbelievably stupid.  I mean, unless I have missed something, no one with a boat ever flocks to Seattle in the dead of fucking winter.  Ever.  Never.  As in no one, let alone the 1% (who, by the way, are in the Virgin Islands, the Greek Isles, Bali, and the Maldives).
  • Fourth, the day after screwing the hapless 99% by occupying the critical (albeit decrepit) infrastructure that the 99% actually uses to get to work and back home to their families every single god-foresaken day, the Occupy Seattle folks filed for a permit to ruin Seattle’s annual Xmas tree lighting in Westlake Center.  I guess they would like to cause a ruckus so that innocent people, particularly children, also get pepper-sprayed.  Merry Xmas, innocents.  Merry hot-stinging-watering-eyed-snot-nosed-barfing-pepper-spray-rubber-bullet Xmas, 99%!
  • Fifth, this weekend, the Occu-squatters protested outside the juvenile detention center to protest “state repression of our youth and our future.”  If the shitty little miscreants who are locked away in the detention center are our future, we are fucked.  Period.  We can all just kill ourselves right now.  Can I get an Amen up in here?  Can I get some propofol up in here?
  • Finally, the Occu-squatters are now literally squatters.  They have taken over a “foreclosed” duplex, which may or may not have actually been foreclosed.  It is new but incomplete construction, built by a developer who likely had no intention of living in it.  Instead, I bet the investor had every intention of building it and then cashing out by selling it to someone as an investment, not as a residence.  Trust me on this, the property was developed and would have been sold entirely as a commercial investment, and no innocent homeowner was screwed out of this property by some evil bank.  The Occupy Seattle people are not saving anyone or any family from foreclosure and have picked the exactly wrong property to make their point.  Beyond that, occupying the duplex is illegal and is trespassing, and the Occu-squatters have no right to be there and no legitimate claim.  So far, Mayor Pussy has done absolutely nothing to stop this illegal, ridiculous, and, in the grand scheme of things, completely USELESS behavior.  By the way, did I mention that they are “improving” the property, even as I draft this?  And by “improve,” I’m sure that I mean they are turning it into a drug manufacturing facility.

I was supposed to write a post about what I would do differently if I were in charge of the Occupy movement.  The answer is ABSOLUTELY-FUCKING-EVERYTHING.  To be honest, however, I could never be in charge because the Occupy movement is allegedly a “true” democracy where there are no leaders and everyone has an equal voice.  How is that working out for them?  It isn’t.  And it isn’t working for the rest of us who really would like to see socio-economic change in this country.

It is time for the rest of the 99% to shut the Occupy circus down, and I am calling upon everyone to do just that.  Many are already doing it by calling out the entire movement on its lack of focus and direction, bad judgment, lawlessness, and de facto disregard for its own base.  We need to take the country back from the 1% who own it, and we need to reclaim the true voice and message of the proverbial 99% from the 1% who have hijacked it with their shenanigans.

So, in the end, I guess I am the 98% . . . Are you?

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I know that it has been far too long (like an entire week) since I last updated you on the Occupy movement, but I’ve had important things to do, like cut my nails, vacuum, and dispose of a few bodies.  Today, ladies and gentlemen, I am going to give you a national perspective on the Occupy movement, brought to you by Triumph The Insult Dog, also known as the Geraldo Rivera of dogs, who absolutely nails it with his probing line of questions and ball licking.  Yes, ball licking.  Enjoy!

AKA Geraldo Rivera

Triumph The Insult Dog

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Ok. It’s been a week or so since I’ve said a peep about Occupy Seattle.  I’ve been busy, bitches.  For example, I had to wash my hair and pick up dog poop and  pay some bills and sit in the mother fucking Viaduct traffic, all of which was more fun and less annoying than watching Occupy Seattle blow itself up.  I am, however, a masochist, so I decided to check in tonight to see what has been happening, and I knew you would want to know.  Here is my hand-crafted summary for you, and sometimes I have provided links but I’m lazy tonight so if you want to verify my summary, then fucking Google it yourself.  Kisses.

  • Division in the Ranks!  I know, I know.  It’s almost as shocking as the sun rising in the east and setting in the west.  In a nutshell, this whole touchy-feely “everyone has a god damn voice” thing isn’t working because everyone also has a god damn agenda, most of which are not in harmony with each other.  So, the people of color are being laughed at because they want to decolonize Seattle and create cop-free zones (yes, in a public park); the anarchists are apparently turning the movement into a violent, anti-cop protest; and the occupiers who were maintaining the camp at City Hall are sick and fucking tired of the homeless people stealing their shit, not to mention they ain’t gettin’ no respect from the Westlake occupiers.  Or something like that.  And on and on and on . . .
  • People Are Actually Doing Drugs!  No shit?  I mean, have you seen the livestream?  Besides calling it a Shitshow, I have also decided to call it, “Name That High,” wherein I and other viewers try to guess what the people who are on camera have been smoking, snorting, or shooting.  Serious fun.
  • We’re Moving!  In their infinite collective wisdom, the occupiers have voted to set up another camp at Seattle Central Community College (SCCC) on Capitol Hill.  By a substantial majority.  Because, you know how higher public education institutions in this country are part of the 1%.  Apparently, their motivation is to have a place where they can sleep, and SCCC is private property where they think the cops can’t reach them.  Guess what?  SCCC doesn’t want them.  Can you believe it?  Nevertheless, as of today–and despite previous threats to have the occupiers forcibly removed–SCCC’s President, on the advice of legal counsel, has decided that he cannot prohibit them from occupying campus.
  • Psychological First Aid!  One of the nearly daily trainings for occupiers is about keeping healthy, and the standard for care is set forth in this pocket guide.  I support keeping everyone healthy, I guess, although perhaps a really good cold from standing in the freezing rain trying to masturbate everyone’s personal agenda into a coherent message might actually spur the movement to CUT THE BULLSHIT and get down to brass tacks, as they say.  However, what in the fuck is psychological first aid?  Well, I have your answer, but for those of you who are short on reading, psych first aid “should be applied during and in the immediate aftermath of disasters.”  Disasters?  Well, I guess the Occupy Seattle effort is a disaster, at least from where I’m sitting, but I mean that in the figurative sense, not the “Hurricane Katrina” or “Haiti Earthquake” sense.   If the shit is getting so unbearable for the occupiers that they need post-disaster psychological treatment, then might I suggest taking preventive measures?  By that I mean, “Stay the fuck home.”  Please.
  • DANCE PARTY!  Now, HorseKnuckle fucking loves to get his groove on.  Trust me.  But there is a time and a place for everything, and I really don’t understand what a dance party is designed to do or say about the socio-economic problems plaguing our country and the world right now.  Those problems are, in my humble opinion, fairly sobering and somber–kinda the opposite of a dance party.  I don’t know how the Occupy movement can expect the rest of the 99% (let alone the 1%) to take it seriously when, on many days, the occupation looks more like a day at the county fair than a protest.
  • They Have Needs!  So, imagine I didn’t have enough furniture to fill one house, and then I bought another and asked you to furnish it for me.  Well, now that Occupy Seattle is “buying” its third house at SCCC, it needs some shit, and it needs you to buy said shit for it.  Not only are there the constant demands on the livestream for everything from pizza to socks, but the Occupy Seattle website has a few needs, which is probably overstating it a little because most of this stuff looks like it falls in the “want” or “wish list” category.  Pumpkins and carving knives?  Brown sugar?  Walkie-talkies?  Oh, and for your convenience, they have also prepared a list of needs on Amazon so that you can just buy it on-line.  From a giant corporation, whose founder is as 1% as any billionaire.  But, they don’t need dog food, which is curious, since all of them are so hungry and poor that they can’t possibly have pets.  Or can they?  Oddly absent from their list of needs, however, is a coherent message and set of achievable objectives, but I guess it is unfair to impose my idea of what they really need on them.

Ok, fuck.  I’m tired.  Plus, I really should be devoting the precious time it takes to put together these blog posts to more socially responsible endeavors, like blogging about anti-bullying, minority rights, and the like, which I promise I will do.

Pat Buchanan

Fucking Fuckface

I mean, have you see that douchebag Pat Buchanan’s new book?  It is a tirade against all minorities and as close to a call for white supremacy as I have seen since the KKK mission statement was last revised.  What a fucking fuckface.  Or how about the video of that gay high school kid who got the living shit beat out of him AT SCHOOL in Ohio while everyone else just sat there and watched.  Did you see or hear about that?  Did you hear that the little homophobe who perpetrated the crime is now claiming that he has a mental disorder (no SHIT Sherlock) or that he only got a 3-day suspension?  True story, all of which is far more important that trying to keep up with the trials and mostly errors of Occupy Seattle.

God I’m fucking crabby.  Good night.  Or bad night.  I don’t give a shit.

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I’m going to disappoint you a little tonight.  Believe it or not, I have a life, and tonight I have plans, which means that I’m going to have to abandon my nightly Occupy Seattle watch.  Unless I fake a serious case of diarrhea and run out of the party.  It might, however, be somewhat of a party for me, so that would make me a first class douche canoe.  If, however, it does not appear that someone is going to put out early at this little shindig, then I might start to feel fake cramps.

So, I swear that one of these days I will get off of Occupy Seattle’s ass, leave them alone, and return to my completely inane and worthless rants and raves.  Like, have you seen Details Magazine‘s most recent edition, in which they offer up 41 reasons why America has become obsessed with the male physique?  I am trembling with anticipation over writing a little something about that mess of a “story.”  But not tonight.  I have to primp and pluck, just in case someone shows signs that my friends are not actually a bunch of asexual assholes.

Tonight, I would like to bridge the gap between Occupy Seattle and my normal shallow, vapid but always entertaining posts.  A couple of hours ago, the following tweet appeared with perfect comedic timing in my twat-line:

A way to show support from home: set up a tent in your front yard/deck/etc. in support&solidarity. Encourage conversation! #OccupySeattle

Oh yes.  That’s a MAGNIFICENT way of building great relationships with your neighbors, whose property values continue to sink in this shitty economy.  Put up tents in your front yard.  Just a tent, though.  Don’t indicate in any way, shape, or form that you are doing it in support or solidarity with Occupy Seattle.  It will definitely work to encourage conversation, because I promise that if my neighbors put up tents in their yards, we are going to have a conversation that will likely go something like this:

Me:  WHAT IN THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?  THIS ISN’T NICKLESVILLE!  Some people are trying to sell their homes before they are foreclosed upon, and a tent village in your yard isn’t really helping much.

Them:  We are supporting Occupy Seattle.

Me:  By putting up a tent in your front yard and/or moving into it?  So you, too, believe hypothermia and pneumonia is the way to effectuate change in this country.

Them:  Well, we all have to do our part to fight back against the 1%, so I went down to Target/Walmart/K-Mart/Big-Box-Corporate-Store, and I bought a tent and some sleeping bags with my Bank of America/Wells Fargo/CitiBank/Big-Corporate-Bank credit card.

Me:  WHAT IN THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU???  How about a nice sign in your yard or even your window with the actually very clever [and confidential to Occupy Seattle, very brandable] Occupy Seattle logo [ #OccupySeattle] or maybe a sign with the numbers 99 followed by a % on it?  Now, there is a brilliant idea that someone could have/should have thought about.  [Also confidential to Occupy Seattle:  Perhaps you should have some of these signs/stickers/etc. made up and then sell them for a nominal price to fund your little operation BEFORE I FUCKING DO IT??]

I mean, who comes up with these ideas?  Did they decide to encourage shanty-towns during one of the lengthy General Assembly sessions between caucusing, small break out sessions, and deep, cleansing breaths?  After last night’s 2 hour long meeting about changing the name of the local movement, I could not be surprised.

Oh, and bitches, I can’t help notice that despite the number of people who have been visiting this shitty little blog in the past week or whatever, very few of you are actually clicking on the links that I am including.  Look, dirtbags, I don’t go out and drum up interesting tidbits and independent confirmation of the bologna that I am writing and link to it for my health or my own enlightenment.  I don’t need confirmation–I believe myself implicitly and inherently.

So click the fucking links.


[Confidential to Those Occupiers Who Reached Out About Last Night’s Post:  Thanks for reading; for engaging me in conversation; for understanding that I don’t really bear too much ill-will and just want some good to come of your efforts; and for being open and honest about your own reservations about the Occupy Seattle movement’s direction.  I owe many of you responses, upon which I am currently ruminating.]

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I have been an open, honest, and loud-mouthed critic of the Occupy Seattle movement (and the Occupy movement as a whole).  And for that, I have gotten some serious right-wing followers and sympathizers and crazies.  That attention makes me feel awkward and uncomfortable, because I feel like I am tricking them, albeit completely inadvertently.  So, I am coming out (a-fucking-gain):

I’m a lefty. In fact, I am on the very far left in all respects.

Because no one is reading my bio apparently, I will summarize:  I am an out, vociferous, rabid gay man who believes in equal rights, social justice, and the promises enshrined in the Declaration of Independence of life, liberty, and most importantly, the pursuit of happiness.  I also demand equal rights for all citizens, as guaranteed by the Constitution, as both strictly and broadly construed.  And yet, I am burdened by pragmatism and the realities of what it takes to effectuate change in this country on a local, state, and national level.  I hate to admit it, but I guess I am a lefty that has the baggage that comes with age, education, experience, and having been bludgeoned by the very stick against which the Occupy movement is now waging war.  I have learned the lessons of change, the struggle of change, the speed of change, the politics of change–and most importantly–the nuances of change.

The Occupy movement has a streak of absolute fucking brilliance, and I firmly believe in its fundamental message and purpose.  It is a message and purpose that speaks to a majority of this country (if not the lauded 99% in its entirety).  As I understand it, the focus of the movement is the individual and the ways in which individual rights are being denied and overshadowed by corporate power (and I use the term “corporate” very broadly to include all entities that have no right to vote but every right to finance particular political outcomes and initiatives) and the ultra-affluent.  As a gay American, individual rights and inclusion are near and dear to my heart.  I fight for them literally every single day, even in a city like liberal Seattle and even amongst friends and family who accept me for who I am and trust my authenticity and integrity.

So, before I wax on completely and utterly boringly (is that a word?), let me sum up.  I like madness, but I like my madness to have a method.  With the Occupy movement, and the Seattle movement specifically, there is plenty of madness, but there is no discernible method.  It has an underlying message, which it keeps losing or doesn’t understand or can’t articulate.  It strives to have a collective voice but is mired in its own process, which creates a small-scale bureaucracy that is as ineffective as the large-scale governmental bureaucracies it criticizes.  It is reticent (unwilling? incapable?) to make demands or create milestones by which to measure its own progress.  It wants to be everything to 99% of everyone, but that, my friends, is a losing battle. And we all know it, but some of us choose to ignore it.

My criticism is about both message and messaging.  Personally, I think everyone should take heed.  After all, I don’t have all this gray hair for nothing.  More importantly, I don’t understand the Occupy movement, and I am the proverbial choir to which it could and it should preach.

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As I write this, the General Assembly is meeting. Again, you can watch most of the proceedings and general craziness on the Occupy Seattle Shitshow Livestream camera.

Before I talk about the current “proceedings,” let me take you back less than an hour.  Less than an hour ago, when I logged into the Shitshow (I’ve combined it into it’s own word, so there), an arrest was occurring.  The police had swooped in to arrest a Native American man who had spread blankets out on the ground at Westlake Center and had begun a prayer session.  I personally believe they arrested him because he appeared to be setting up an authorized campsite, just like the previous ___ number nights. The Occupy Seattle people, however, had what I thought at the time were legitimate concerns about whether he was being arrested in violation of the Constitution for practicing his religion.  They also expressed concern that he was being arrested because of his Native American ancestry, for which there was more squawking now that I think about it than because of perceived religious discrimination.  Nevertheless, he was hauled away.

Now, what happened next seems more than a little coincidental to me, but I will let you decide.

Within 5 minutes of the arrest of the Native American gentleman, the General Assembly (the “GA”) re-convened.  The first person to address the group after the arrest of the Native American man was from the “People of Color Caucus” (I think that is what it was called) of the Occupy Seattle movement.  Quite coincidentally, the Caucus was there to present a declaration or something for the vote of the GA.  It passed, so you’ll all get to read it, but as far as I could tell, the declaration was meant to call attention to the fact that most everyone is an Occupier from a . . . wait for it . . . NO, I’M SERIOUS fucking wait for it . . . .

From a Native American standpoint.  Yes, that’s right.  It was basically a manifesto from the Caucus (and similar Caucuses around the country) about the colonization of North America by Western Europeans and the mistreatment of the Native American peoples they found here.  Did I mention that this conversation started literally within minutes of the arrest, published live on the Occupy Seattle Shitshow Livestream, of a Native American man?

In the premise of colonization lies a nugget of truth, no doubt.  But that is not the purpose of my blog post tonight, and it is my fucking blog so later we can come back to colonization, raping and pillaging, Columbus Day, and giving thanks that someone stole this great land from others and then locked said others away like zoo animals on reservations.  The purpose of this blog is to point out that a Native American man showed up tonight, did something that resulted in his arrest, followed by a bunch of screaming (literally) about Native Americans and religious freedom, and then the next 90 minutes of the GA’s time was spent arguing about the white man’s occupation of Seattle and the country as a whole.  One of the Caucus members even “grabbed the mic” (which means he spoke and everyone else repeated his words) and said, “We already think that Westlake Center and the country is occupied by you Occupy Seattle people, and we want that to be part of this movement’s platform.”  [I paraphrased, but that was the point of his commentary.]

And then, I shit you not, a 30 minute discussion ensued about a proposal from the Caucus to change the name of Occupy Seattle to something different. Here were the choices, roughly [N.B., I swear to you, I am not making this shit up.  How could someone?]:

  1. Decolonize/(Un)Occupy Seattle
  2. Decolonize Seattle
  3. Decolonize/Occupy Seattle
  4. (Un)Occupy Seattle

Obviously, what this already unbelievably well-choreographed, clear, coherent, united movement needs is a name change.  A name change will obviously put an end to the corporate hi-jacking of our electoral system and will send a very clear message to the 1% that we are sick and tired of the concentration of wealth and power that has resulted from a system of government that gives a disproportionate voice to the ultra-affluent and to corporate interests.

See, I do understand the message and the original point of the Occupy movement.  What I don’t understand is WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU PEOPLE DOING AND, IF YOU REALLY HAVE TO DO IT, WHY ARE YOU DOING IT LIVE ON CAMERA?  Tonight is proof-positive that you people have lost sight of your own objective.  At this point, the only thing Occupy Seattle (and I fear the rest of the Occupy movement) is good for is late-night entertainment.  But so is Chelsea Lately, David Letterman, SNL, and porn, all of which is way less tedious than watching you people have a circle jerk, figuratively speaking (I hope), all of which is also scripted, just like what I believe I saw tonight.  I don’t know who is playing whom, but I’m not fucking buying it.

Per usual.

Update 10/21 11:30 a.m.:  White Eagle, the Native American man who I thought had been arrested, was not.  See comments from him and others, below.

Update 10/21 1:30 p.m.:  The minutes/notes from the GA last night have been posted.  The evening’s festivities are documented a little more than half-way down the page.

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