#SNOverreacting

This morning, Cliff Mass scaled his snow forecast back a bit after the morning forecast model runs.  It’s very technical stuff that only geniuses like Cliff and me understand, so I won’t clog up your empty heads with the details. But there is another very compelling reason to scale back the snow forecast, despite the presence of Jim Cantore right here in our histrionic and panicked city.  You know, Jim.  He’s the Weather Channel meteorologist who doesn’t go anywhere that will not be destroyed within two days of his arrival by stunningly frightening and destructive forces of nature.  Congratulations to us.

This is a little known scientific fact, but the amount of snow that will fall is inversely proportional to the amount of hype leading up to the event.  It’s true.  I swear to Santa Claus.  And holy anti-climax has there been a lot of hype.  Look at this riot-inducing shot of Yahoo’s main page moments ago:

Onslaught. As in, "You will be slaughtered."

Additional headlines:  “Worst is yet to come.“  “Wednesday will be a whopper.” Snow “punch” in the box. YOU ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!

Now, even though I have scaled back my own expert forecast for snow based on the Media-Hype Law of Inverse Snow Proportions™, I am still leaving forthwith to purchase as many bottles of liquor as I can, because why the hell not.  I am also going to the gym, so that, in the event of our nearly certain snow-related deaths, I will look better than you in the giant pit where they are going to bulldoze our naked bodies.

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